Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Damn victory sex feels great
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
