Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
