that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
