Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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