Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
