i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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