roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm like, not good at living.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
