i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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