I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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