Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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