just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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