stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
