She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
handjob tips. give me some.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize