What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
