its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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