Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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