I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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