I just saw a hot homeless man
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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