do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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