Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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