The maid of honor just puked.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
