The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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