You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
