also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
