I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
