Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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