He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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