you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
this boner is exhausting
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
