I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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