i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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