Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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