I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
