wake up i wanna do it froggy style
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
