Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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