Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize