But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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