Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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