Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
