the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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