you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
