in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
