So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
