he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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