just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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