Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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