He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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