So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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