Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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