i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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