both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize