in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
