Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
