I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We have so much sex to catch up on
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
