I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
