omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
