Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
