just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize