You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
