Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize