You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
