Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
