I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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