After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
