How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
