Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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