I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
