so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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