I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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